The raring hormones, mood-swings, cravings, regular checkups, fatigue, morning sickness, etc., and, of course, the glow on your face with the adorable and cute baby bump, all make for a wonderful experience, which is not only thrilling and exciting, but which also teaches you patience and virtue.
Pregnancy is also a time when a woman becomes vulnerable to many insensitive comments. It is like a signal for people, even strangers, to pass comments or offer suggestions which may offend the would-be mother. Even if you are just showing your concern or mean well, here are a few things you should never say to an expecting woman.
Refrain from commenting on her size, weight, or physical features. Comments like, "You look like you are ready to burst." OR "You look so small or tiny?" OR "You can move around so easily. I was unable to walk even four steps with my huge tummy." OR "Are you having twins?" are a strict no-no.
Asking her, "Was it planned?" is rude, and don't be surprised if she snaps back at you. Whether a pregnancy was planned or it just happened will not matter to the would-be mother now. So, why should anyone be bothered about asking this question in the first place.
Asking Her About the Father of the Baby
Is it not commendable that she wants to be a mom whether her partner is with her or they are no longer together? Why would you be bothered about knowing about the father of the child. It is an insensitive and tactless question to be asked, and it has to be off-limits.
If you are a stranger, then it is not your business to know about it, and if you are a family member, you probably know the answer. Does it really count? What should matter most is the birth of the little one!
Telling Her about Your Harrowing Experiences
"I was in labor forever." OR "Childbirth is unbearable." Any comment related to labor pains or childbirth is inadvisable. You know people who have had painful experiences during childbirth.
However, please keep in mind that the expectant mother has already been told about childbirth countless times, which is giving her jitters already. She may have had many sleepless nights over things that can go wrong with the pregnancy and delivery, and does not need another reminder of that.
Asking her "Do you want a boy or a girl?" OR "Are you disappointed it's a girl/boy?" does not really matter. What is the point of asking? She just wants a healthy baby. What matters most is the little one, and the joy that it will bring.
Preaching About Sleepless Nights After Having the Baby
A pregnant lady is already coping up with the changes in her body, and you ranting about how her life is going to undergo a drastic transition may not be taken lightly.
With the raring hormones, she is always too emotional, and if you go on about the difficulties that she will face in future, she may break down or snap at you. So, to save yourself from such an embarrassing situation, it is advisable not to make any such comments.
Aren't You Too Old/Young/Fat/Rich/Poor to Have a Baby?
Whatever word you insert here, it seems like you are doubting the ability of the woman to carry a healthy baby. You are also suggesting that she is likely to be a bad or lousy parent. Having a baby itself is challenging, and instead of you applauding and congratulating her, such comments will most probably offend her.
Saying, "Don't be so Emotional."
The hormones during pregnancy make a mother-to-be overly emotional, sensitive, forgetful, and prone to do unexpected things. By asking her to control her emotions, you are being insensitive and careless.
Instead of commenting, you can just be a patient listener, and supportive, so that she can vent out her emotions. She will be thankful and appreciate your small, nice gesture.
Any Comment About Breastfeeding
The word itself can arouse feelings of fear, anxiety, and a host of emotions. Her plans about feeding her baby are very personal, and should be left completely on her. Only a mother knows what is best for her baby, and she will make the necessary arrangements to take care and feed her baby when the time comes. Now is not the time to comment on that.
Carrying a child puts a lot of stress on her body, which is why she has to eat at regular intervals to gain energy and the necessary nutrition. Please keep this in mind before you pass any comments on her eating habits.
Remember that she has to take care of her baby, so cravings, as well as hunger pangs, are an inevitable part of her life. Please refrain from commenting on any of this.
A simple congratulations and words of encouragement are what is expected of you. Any kind gestures that will help a pregnant woman make her pregnancy easier and more enjoyable will be valued. These simple things will be well appreciated and remembered by the mother-to-be.